Diary of The Food Whore

Be careful what you wish for.

I was lying in bed last night reminding myself that I needed to find the funny in it all. That I needed to step back, see it all from a different perspective, and find the funny. I fell asleep with that thought bouncing in my head.

Unlike The Friend in California, I don’t need sheep to help me sleep. I need to think my way through it all, solve the world’s problems. Or rock out to some sort of 80’s song on The iPod, which when you think about it seems incredibly counterproductive. But something about that music and all the visuals of the big hair and acid washed jeans makes me pass out for fear of remembering the soul-crushing moment I first suspected George Michael might not like the girls so much.

Anyway.

At about 4:30 this morning I got my funny.

I woke myself up sneezing, and in the middle of trying to roll over and sit up I got too close to the edge of the bed, and in one fell swoop sneezed so hard I propelled myself right on to the floor.

The Husband continued to snore, subcontiously familiar with thuds in the night, and I grabbed a pillow to muffle the gut-busting giggles as I lie there on a scattered stack of cooking magazines.

Sadly, these moments don’t phase me anymore. Last week I also fell in my closet, so falling off the bed just seems like a natural next step. I am seeing a nice slip down the stairs to complete the tri-fecta I am working so hard to achieve to round out what has been a week of constant conflict.

It’s The Restaurant - she has been a test of patience in faith of late. Business is fine. But the staff - I’m kind of starting to believe alien pods from the planet Crazitarium have invaded them all. The issues are endless, the frustrations are mounting, and I am starting to think it may be time to walk away and open up a hot dog cart with a monkey who plays the banjo.

This entry was posted on Monday, April 13th, 2009 at 1:48 pm and is filed under Just My Luck, Klutziness. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.