Diary of The Food Whore

So I’m in the grocery store last night.

I had just finished my nightly walk - a huge success, by the way. I didn’t trip over any small animals, or things like my own shoes.

Anyway, I was kind of looking like a hot mess, and wanted to just get in, grab my few items and get out of there. So I was in the baking aisle (I know what you’re thinking… were you lost?) And I heard a woman say, “So have you had the spotted dick?”

I was ready to say, ‘look, I realize I look tough but that’s no reason to make gross assumptions’ when I noticed she was asking a man that question. And then I felt, you know, like I was in the middle of the kind of conversation that only takes place in the free clinic.

He responded, “Not for a long time. My family has a spotted dick it is quite proud of.”

Braggart.

I guess.

After they walked passed me I looked up on the shelf and noticed this:

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.